I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize