I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My ATM looks so different sober.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Congratulations! We have a period
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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