her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
