But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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