is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
