And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize