He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
