My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I miss vodka workout Fridays
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
