Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
