I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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