you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
PANTIES FOUND
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