i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
