my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
