HIV tests are more positive than that guy
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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