Life is so much better after having sex.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
