just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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