What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
