he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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