u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize