toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
