so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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