you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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