awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
