I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You don't make any sense
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