You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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