Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
