the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
