he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize