I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
