hell yes lets make some ravioli
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
