Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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