I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize