he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
