youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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