Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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