Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
