My brain says no but my pants say off.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
