u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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