i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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