i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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