i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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