Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
