When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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