so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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