I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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