Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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