Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Edward fifth and chaser hands
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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