I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
