i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
