He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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