Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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