your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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