office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
