I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
thus making me awesome and them whores
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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