He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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