I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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