When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
