Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
