it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
