I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
