Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
