There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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