this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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