Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
