Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
