Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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