I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
