absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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