Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
