do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize