yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
