I think I am morally bankrupt
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
