Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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