Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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