My room smells like vodka and shame
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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